


I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe

by tisktisk (PornyZiallFeels)



Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Gullible Harry, M/M, Mischievous Louis, Perfect Niall, Santa's Elves, exasperated liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-03 23:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5311922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PornyZiallFeels/pseuds/tisktisk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the third day of Christmas my true love gave me 3 naughty elves</p>
            </blockquote>





	I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe

A Christmas Elf by definition is a warm, cheerful being whose sole purpose on Earth is to help Santa bring joy and laughter to the faces of boy and girls all over the world.

Tommo is nothing like that.

If you ask Payno, he thinks Tommo would’ve been better suited as a Goblin; they’re small, greedy, and mischievous creatures, who love to play tricks on people—which fits Tommo perfectly.

For as long as he’s known the other elf, he’s been cleaning up the messes he leaves behind after his many pranks or jokes gone too far. In fact, they didn’t get along at first because of their conflicting personalities. Payno always more level-headed, taking his responsibility as an elf seriously –he considered himself a natural born leader and liked for things to go exactly to plan.

While Tommo was anything but serious, full of boundless energy, he was known to live life on the edge and saw himself as a leader as well, but with a completely different form of leadership being of a more spontaneous nature.

Payno tried to get along for their mates’ sake and for Santa…he would do _anything_ for Santa, so eventually he stopped trying to swim against the tide that was Tommo and decided to just go along with his schemes without protest, figuring that if he was there to oversee things then maybe he’d have a better chance at avoiding there being any messes to clean up.

He doesn’t know exactly when following blindly after Tommo stopped feeling like a chore and started being something he wanted to do, the two of them giggling as they ran out the bathroom with the shrill sound of Zaynie screeching in their wake once he realizes his fancy shampoo has been swapped out for green hair dye.

 _Tis the season, Zaynie!!!_ Tommo had cackled over his shoulder before grabbing Payno weak with laughter by the elbow and hightailing it.

Or the time they glued Ed’s shoes to his feet and the orange haired elf had had to sleep and even shower in his shoes for a whole week before the adhesive finally wore off. Ed had been much too easy going to really care, and simply flipped them a thumbs up and said _good one lads_ but Santa had been livid.

They’d eaten nothing but boiled beets for dinner for two weeks as punishment. To this day Tommo swears out it was worth it. Payno couldn’t say that he agreed.

So when the copper haired elf bounds into his room with that familiar glint in his eyes, Payno doesn’t even need to question what he wants. Not looking up from the comic book he was reading, he drawls out, “What do you want?”

“What makes you think I want anything?” Tommo asked, voice laced with an innocence he didn’t possess causing Payno to finally glance over only to roll his eyes at the way Tommo was batting his lashes at him.

“Well it’s _you_ for one, and secondly, I can see Nialler trying to hide out in the hall with a hand over his mouth to cover his giggles.”

“Nialler!” Tommo growled, dropping the act entirely to glare at the blonde who slinks into the room with his head hung in shame.

“Sorry, Tommo.” He whimpers, suitably chastised.

Tommo’s glare instantly melts into a fond smile as he throws an arm around the blonde’s neck bringing him into his side to tickle his pits to make him laugh.

“Aw, you know I can never stay mad at you, Nialler.”

“That’s a charming little moment you’re having there lads, but what exactly do you _want_?”

“Cookies.” They say at the exact same time, grinning.

“Cookies?” Payno repeats to himself, confused what any of this has to do with him. “Well, go on to the pantry and get some, what’d ya need me for?”

“We don’t want any of that store bought rubbish, we want fresh baked biscuits!” Tommo insists stomping his foot making the little bell on the toe of his shoe chime.

“Again, that’s a matter to be taken up in the kitchen, though I must admit the thought of the two of you plus an oven does concern me.”

Tommo scoffs waving him off. “Please Payno, me and Nialler can’t even boil water, we want Hazza to bake us some.”

“Okay…”

“But he’s watching that movie again, you know the one he watches every year.”

“About the green guy with the small heart?”

“No, no, the other one that he knows all the words to.”

“Oh, Love Actually.”

“Yep, and you know once he gets started there’s nothing that can pull him away from it.”

Payno nodded because it was true there was nothing that could tear his attention away from that film. “That’s true, so there’s no real point then? You’ve just come to bother me?”

Tommo tapped his chin in thought. “There is one person who can get him to drop everything.”

“Who?”

“The big guy, Kris Kringle, ol’ Saint Nicholas—”

“Santa!” Nialler finally interrupted with a growl. “He’d do it for Santa Jaysus Tommo, you sure talk a load of shite sometimes.”

“Nialler, language!”

“Soz, Payno.” He said, though he didn’t look the least bit apologetic.

“How do you mean to convince Santa that Hazza making you cookies is so important?”

“We don’t, we mean to dress up as Santa and ask him ourselves.”  Tommo informed him, with a smile that would put the Cheshire cat to shame.

“That’s where you come in Payno…we’ll need the extra height for us to really pull it off.” Payno stared at the blonde as if he’d just suggested they cancel Christmas this year.

“Oh no, I’m out! I’m not about to sneak into Santa’s office, steal his suit and then _wear_ it, are the two of you mad?”

“No, just hungry.” Nialler corrected in a meek voice that Payno wasn’t buying for a second.

“You’re _always_ hungry, Nialler.”

“Fair point.” He relented, dropping the doe-eyed act.

And now it all made sense why Nialler was so gung-hoe about this plan—cookies were at stake, though he probably would’ve done it just because Tommo asked, he _always_ went along with Tommo’s schemes. Payno on the other hand was a little more reluctant, even if he knew that resistance was pretty much futile when it came to Tommo.

“Do you have any idea how much trouble we –no _you_ could get into if caught?”

“Please, Payno?” Tommo blurted, batting his lashes again.

“No.”

Moving closer to Payno who still lay on his back, head propped up on a mound of pillows. “Aw come on, Santa will never find out, my plan is near fool proof.”

“You’ve actually got a _plan?_ ” Payno asked, distracted by the fact that Tommo had actually thought this one through but quickly came to his senses shaking his head. “Wait, I don’t care, the answer is no.”

Dropping heavily onto the bed beside him, Tommo let out a huge sigh. “Ok, so it’s not so much a plan as an idea, but with you there Payno to keep things from going pear shaped, how can we get caught?” He reasoned, dropping the act and trying for a more sincere approach.

“I don’t know…”                                                                       

“Please?” He tried once more, tilting his head in such a way that he could look up at Payno through his lashes and the taller elf knew he was a goner.

“Oh fine, but I swear if I end up eating boiled beets again, I’ll have your head Tommo.” The pair of blue eyed elves hooted in victory and they sprang together for a hug.

“Sure thing Payno, but no worries we won’t be caught!”

“Whatever you say, and what will you do about Santa’s beard?”

“Way ahead of you, Payno!” Nialler smirked, brandishing a fluffy beard that looked to be made out of sheep’s wool from behind his back.

 So that’s how Payno found himself the base of a three elf totem pole with Tommo perched on his shoulders and Nialler at the very top since he was the only one who could convincingly pull off Santa’s voice. Clothed in Santa’s red coat and pants, Payno clunked his way to Hazza’s room in Santa’s big black boots that were nearly thrice the size of Payno’s little elf feet.

Once they get there they find Hazza buried up to his chin in blankets with several crumpled up tissues scattered around him. Payno almost feels bad about interrupting, but Nialler and Tommo seem to have no qualms whatsoever as the blonde elf promptly lets out a hearty set of ho ho hos to get the dimpled elf to look away from his laptop.

“Santa!” He cries out in glee, movie all but forgotten as he scrambles to free himself from his blanket cocoon only to reveal a snowman onesie complete with footies. “What brings you to my um, room sir?” Hazza stutters out as he starts cleaning what little mess there is on the floor a stray sock here, an old pair of pants there—nothing out of the ordinary.

“Ho ho ho Hazza, can’t I come visit my favorite elf without an agenda?”

Hazza gasped, freezing midway between kicking a pair of green sparkling boots under his bed, eyes going wide. “ _I’m_ your favorite elf _?_ ”

“Uh well no, I haven’t got a favorite, I love you all equal.” Nialler backtracked, knowing that Santa would never play favorites. “But by those odds you’re still _one_ of my favorites.”

The curly headed elf seems to think this over, bottom lip caught between his teeth in thought until finally a smile bloomed across his face once more as he shrugged. “I’ll take it! So, what can I help you with, sir?”

“Oh it’s nothing really, I was just feeling a might bit peckish—my sweet tooth going mad and I figured only a batch of your famous sugar cookies would satisfy me craving.”

“Really?!?!?!?”

“Aye, and I reckon you could make them into little shamrock sha—” Nialler let out a yelp as Tommo pinched his thigh, “and football shapes with frosting—” Nialler yelped again. “and lots of sprinkles on?”

“Sure Santa, I’d be honored; I’ll have them done in a jiff!”  He promised, already digging into his closet for his personalized chef hat that Zaynie had gotten him a couple of Christmases ago—he refused to cook a single crumb without it.

“Cheers.” Nialler said, scratching at his beard which was beginning to itch as Hazza scurried off in the direction of the kitchen.

Once out of earshot, the three elves collapse into a heap of laughter, their joy is short lived however by the sound of someone clearing their throat and their heads snap up to see none other than Santa stood in his bright red dressing gown with his hands on his hips.

They immediately hang their heads but not before Payno shoots Tommo a pointed glare that clearly read ‘I told you so’.

Santa of course punishes them, sending Nialler to the kitchen to help Hazza bake—which was a sorry excuse for a punishment if Payno’s ever heard one, not that he was surprised everyone had a soft spot for the blonde and tended to give him special treatment.

While the other two were sent to the reindeer stables. Payno absolutely _hated_ working in the stables—mostly because none of the reindeer seemed to like him, and on the contrary, they all seemed to adore Tommo.

Payno had a sneaky suspicion that the other elf had somehow turned the animals against him.

So while Payno set to work, grumbling about having to groom the animals and tidy up their stalls all of which fell on deaf ears as Tommo tuned him out in favor of playing fetch with one of the reindeer, Comet Payno thinks.

In fact, he’s barely helping, been doing the least amount of work since they started because he knows Payno will just pick up the slack which only makes Payno grumble even more, this time about ungrateful friends who take advantage of him and how it’s always Tommo’s witless ideas that get them into trouble and yet he’s always the one left cleaning up or getting sick at even the mere _mention_ of boiled beets.

Having heard quite enough the littlest elf cuts him off. “But you love me really, don’t you, Payno?” Payno shoots him an incredulous look and shakes his head, cheeks turning a traitorous pink as he lists off all the reasons he definitely does _not_ love Tommo.

“Oh sure I love that you’re always getting me into trouble or that you expect me to drop whatever I am doing and just help you out with whatever harebrained idea you’ve come up with this time. I love how I have to check my shoes each morning for toads before I put them on, or that you constantly harp on me for adding sugar to my tea. I love when you pour water over my head or throw things at me when I’m trying to learn during elves studies.”

At this point Payno’s worked himself up pretty good, breathing gone a bit ragged and the tips of his ears are hot because he definitely does _not_ love Tommo, “but most of all I love—” Tommo cuts him off with a kiss and when he pulls back Payno is completely red in the face which only makes Tommo grin wider.

“Say it Payno, say that you love me.”

Bringing a hand up to his mouth which still tingled slightly from the kiss he slowly nodded as if in a daze. “I guess I really do then, don’t I?” He admits, much to Tommo’s pleasure, who grins, nodding as well as he hops down from the bucket he’d been standing on.

“Well, now that that’s settled, let me help you get these last two stalls done so we can go join Haz and Nialler for milk and cookies!”


End file.
